Eggs Florentine (A.K.A. Mostly Butter, A.K.A. Egg with a Side of Egg Sauce)

The Breakfast of champions list goes; eggs Benedict, eggs Florentine, poached eggs on toast. As it happens that's also the the order of how unhealthy they are for you.

Sunday morning's breakfast.

The Hollandaise was a little tart (insert your favourite joke about those lefty liberal Dutch here), this was probably due to the large sized half a lemon I used. I also forgot to add cayenne pepper, and ballsed out on pouring in all the melted butter.

I'm aware of a story that the 'Florentine' bit refers Catherine de Medici of Florence and her predilection for spinach at the court of her husband Henry II of France. I'm not sure if this story is true. I don't care, for all intents and purposes: this is an American dish.

Two 500mg Paracetamol Tablets (Taken with 355 ml of Water)

Pills and liquor; I've turned into Betty Ford.

A walk

No breakfast today, just like those high powered professionals and anorexics. Walked to the train station too.

I did manage to accomplish quite a bit of work this morning however, plus purchase a meat thermometer at €7.75 (+ 21½ % VAT). There was a digital version which was over twice the price and needs batteries. People just love a digital read out.

Double Poached Eggs, Two Slices of White Bread Toast, and an Inch and a Half of Water in the Laboratory

Apparently there was a leak in the lab last night. It wasn't discovered until six in the morning by the cleaners. They mopped up an inch an a half of water from the lab corridor, two professors' offices, an office full of postdocs (who sadly couldn't swim) and our other lab. They did a good job. There's almost no evidence of the leak except for damp carpets in the offices and a few puddles underneath machines that they couldn't wet-vac under.

Luckily, we keep all the cables off the floor. I.e. there was a safety audit a few weeks ago and we were told to tie the cables up off of the floor.

As for my 'Adam and Eve on a Raft,' it was hearty and satisfying, although I did overcook one egg. No silly fruit nonsense this time. The toast was white bread, which is girlie bread, but I'm confident enough that it won't turn me into a homosexual.

It's easy to cook eggs; it's very easy to overcook eggs. You need to keep an eye on the time. I overcooked an egg on Saturday when I had a poached egg on a potato farl. An interesting variation on last Wednesday's Poached Egg on Toast. The potato bread was recommended by Dr Griff Griffington (in private communication). I wasn't sure if potato bread could be toasted in a toaster, since I've only ever heard of it being fried. It toasted well, although it took a little longer than wholemeal bread.

There are several methods for cooking poached eggs. This is a massive over complication of one of the simplest things to cook. If you're tempted to buy a fancy egg poaching device then perhaps you should consider saving your money and purchasing a big dashing girl's blouse to wear.

Banana, Croissant and a Cup of Coffee

A french classic (minus the cigarette), with a south-east Asian twist? No, I just grabbed a banana from the fruit bowl on my way out the door then topped it with pastry before a meeting with my colleagues at eleven.

It's all wrong really, bananas for breakfast. There's a pop-artiness about a single banana, very Velvet Underground meets Andy Warhol; something fashionable and therefore not to be trusted.

As for croissants; well they're French aren't they. Which means they're complicated and flaky. Done properly they are very tasty though. However outside the Fifth Republic these little butter bombs are always liable to disappoint. Which is quite like pastis and their women really (both brooding temptresses but better watered down).

The coffee was rank and the meeting was dreadful.

Coffee and a Nutrigrain Bar with Side of Depression.

I disgust myself sometimes. What next? Poptarts? Doughnuts? Pot-Noodle? Where will it all end?

Coffee

This morning I simply had a cup of coffee on the train. Mainly due to the delay yesterday caused by my insistence on a cooked breakfast following an impromptu weekday 'lie in' (standards aren't what they used to be).

I always enjoy the morning banter with my Serb-Iranian friend, and the coffee from his shop at the station is quite good. Having a civilised sized cup is crucial to good coffee. This is particularly so of the disparagingly termed 'Americano' as 8 fl oz means too much water for one shot of espresso.

A proper cup of coffee is always good, but cannot by any stretch qualify as breakfast (unless your are a junkie/fashion-model). Readers can safely assume that every breakfast I eat is washed down with a small cup of coffee. I might take a cappuccino if I eat breakfast out, but that'll normally be about brunch time.

Anyone who knows me, knows I don't believe in or acknowledge the existence of 'brunch'. One either eats breakfast late or skips it and has lunch early. Brunch is just another way for fat Americans to squeeze an extra meal of maple syrup into the day. Bad fatties, bad.

I'm very hungry now, and since I've counted my cup of coffee as breakfast, and I promised my girlfriend I'd have lunch with her; I'm off for some lunch-fast.

Poached Egg on Toast

There's little point in detailing how to cook this. If you haven't poached an egg; look it up. If you haven't made toast; stop reading and ask your valet (or maid) to show you how he (or she) makes your toast.

Eggs should be soft. This is an indisputable fact. If only because everyone is in a rush in the morning.

This breakfast is good if a little light. Good for those who want to lose some weight as you get all the flare of a cooked breakfast with protien and slow release carbohydrates. However, I did start to feel hungry again two hours later, and that was with an extra slice of toast on the way out the door.

Perhaps the solution to bulking up this breakfast looks suspiciously like Eggs Benedict. I'm not going to make Hollandaise sauce on a weekday morning, that would take too long and generally sets the day up for failure from the off. I might make it the night before or get it out of a jar. I'm not sure about either though as the fresh tang of Hollandaise is part of its appeal.