Things that common sense isn't.

"Le sens commun n'est pas si commun" - Voltaire.

People use the phrase "It's just common sense," a bit too often. It's tempting to think that common sense isn't what it used to be (much like nostalgia); but I suspect it has always been a vague catch-all for obviousness.

Mostly the term "common sense" is tacked on to whatever plagiarized ideology is ringing in the ears of the bien-pensant. For example: Socialists and capitalists will both contend that their theories are born of common sense (or at least common decency). The capitalist will contend it is common sense to expect people to work hard for reward (which is often true) and a socialist will counter that unless government uses taxes to provide social welfare then those without means will remain without means (also by and large true).

Common sense is probably not that complicated. It could probably be summed up within the sentiment of self preservation; not putting ones hand in the fire, not eating yellow snow, not publishing libelous material in a blog post, et cetera. We could make a list of all the things that are commonly thought of as sensible, but where's the fun in that.

Common sense cannot, by definition, be anything that is learned. And, since the lexicon of human knowledge is vastly of acquired information; common sense is very rare indeed.

By the way, if you want to sound clever¹ you can call it a priori reasoning.

1. It doesn't make you sound clever. It makes you difficult to understand to those who don't know latin².
2. It's commonsense really.

Why I hate1 the Battle Creek Toasted Corn Flake Company.

It should come as no surprise dear readers that I'm not a fan "breakfast cereals". People who don't make time for breakfast are unconsciously saying something about there own self worth. Remember: Time is not money; it is something of incalculable value.

People today think their breakfast has to come in a box and be made from mashed-up and dried, corn or wheat. I've nothing against either corn or wheat, but pre-mashing things is what mothers do to toddlers food. Let's remind ourselves why cornflakes were invented; to discourage sexual desire. They are possibly the first convenience food. We've given convenience food a try; it's turned two thirds of us into fatties, surely it's time to throw out anything that comes with a toy, or collect a million tokens an claim your nunchucks.

The misguided fools; didn't they know our sexual desire is what the soviets wanted from us all along.

Do you want that? Do you? Because that's what you'll get, that and your arse wiped for you.

1. Hate is a strong word. I couldn't be arsed² hating them.

2. I don't care if the queen likes them and gave them a royal warrant³.

3. She gave John Lewis a royal warrant but I've never seen her there.

The Copenhagen Interpretation

I was in Copenhagen a year ago where I had a little taste of breakfast heaven. A combination of picked herring, curried mayonnaise, tomato sauce, a boiled egg, capers and rye bread with lard spread.

Yes that's right; lard!

The meal cost ~110 DKK or €15. Which is about average for a pinko socialist economy like Denmark's. The tomato sauce and the curried egg mayonnaise were served in separate ramekins with the tangy roll-mops of herring in them, with a third ramekin of unsauced pickled herring.

My dining compatriots were aghast in disgust, winces all round, at both the pickled fish and the lard. I've tried to recreate the meal several times at home. For the lard; I bought a pound block of Cookeen, and like Christina, the chubby girl who used to sit next to me in my primary school; I'm both fascinated and terrified of it. The curried mayonnaise I can recreate quite well, due to the fact that it is; after all, just curry powder and mayonnaise. The tomato sauce is a different matter. I've tried plain old passata, but I think there was a more pickled taste to it. I can hardly remember now it was so long ago.

Which brings me to my noted absence. To be honest it's both a blogging clichéd and quite frankly beneath me to apologise for not posting in so long. Consider yourselves lucky you get anything at all.