It should come as no surprise dear readers that I'm not a fan "breakfast cereals". People who don't make time for breakfast are unconsciously saying something about there own self worth. Remember: Time is not money; it is something of incalculable value.
People today think their breakfast has to come in a box and be made from mashed-up and dried, corn or wheat. I've nothing against either corn or wheat, but pre-mashing things is what mothers do to toddlers food. Let's remind ourselves why cornflakes were invented; to discourage sexual desire. They are possibly the first convenience food. We've given convenience food a try; it's turned two thirds of us into fatties, surely it's time to throw out anything that comes with a toy, or collect a million tokens an claim your nunchucks.
The misguided fools; didn't they know our sexual desire is what the soviets wanted from us all along.
Do you want that? Do you? Because that's what you'll get, that and your arse wiped for you.
1. Hate is a strong word. I couldn't be arsed2 hating them.
2. I don't care if the queen likes them and gave them a royal warrant3.
3. She gave John Lewis a royal warrant but I've never seen her there.
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