Blueberry Pancakes w/ Maple Flavoured Syrup

Thick as bread and stuffed with bitter-sweetness of blueberries. Her-indoor insists on spoiling me at the weekend. No limp effete crêpes but three stout puddings of a breakfast and a good double of maple flavoured syrup.

This is an ideal breakfast to point out why the French are thin and the Americans are fat. Simply, the French eat less food and smoke more cigarettes. This leads on to another difference between the French and Americans; Americans are happy, the French are many things but they are never ever happy.

Savoury pancakes are a quick way to lose the will to live, let alone your appetite.

Devilled Kidneys Courtesy of HFW

It's been a while since I last updated this blog. This is mostly due to a welcome healthy repetition of greek yogurt, homemade müesli, and berries. But man cannot live on bread alone, as the health bible says.

The consumption of visceral organs is the preserve of true carnivores; dads and lions alike. Leopold Bloom, the archetype father figure in Joyce's Ulysses is first mentioned cooking "the inner organs of beasts and fowls". No doubt I might revisit them, if I remember, on Bloomsday.

Kidneys are not for wishy washy picky eaters, they smell like a cattle shed in winter and taste predictably strong. "Devilled" refers to the hot mustard and is the only way to eat kidneys. The entire set of ingredients is designed to mask the taste of the organ. The sherry masks the smell, and the mustard and paprika mask the taste. But the whole thing together is delicious.

The basis for the recipe can be found here; courtesey of Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall. I made a few changes, specifically replacing the redcurrant jelly with blackcurrant jam, the cider vinegar with sherry vinegar and the cream with Greek yogurt. An important tip; when you fry the kidneys put hem aside on a warm plate. This lets them rest and the blood to pool away, unless of course you're Hannibal Lecter.

From Yogurt, Müesli and Fresh Berries, to Homemade Müesli with Greek Yogurt and Thawed Frozen Berries, a Comparative Study.

This morning's breakfast was again made by 'er indoors. Normally sweet müesli doesn't do it for me, this time however the light sweetness of the honey against the pleasant tang of natural greek yogurt hit my tastenberge spot.

Made, in the 'first you must create the universe' sense. She made the granola from oats seeds honey etc. It is possible that this was because she doesn't like raisins and so left them out. Never the less it was the best mix I have ever tasted. To be honest I'm not sure I like(d) raisins in müesli. I can chew through them, but aren't raisins just a dry substitute for fresh grapes, and I'm always slightly disappointed when one ends up on my spoon. There's only one way to eat raisins really; souse them in some strong liquor.

Kellog's Krave...Here comes the rant.

I have not tasted "Krave". It used to be fashionable to bemoan sugary cereals. All the mums were at it. People thought children could catch Hyperactivity from sugar, lots and lots of sugar. After that we though Hyperactivity was down to bad parenting. Now we know better. It's actually down to bad teachers. Particularly the unionised ones.

Just to reinforce the brand in you mind; the television commercial shows a little kravicle jumping around like a child from a member of the untamed classes, biting chocolate pieces hither and thither. That's it, now you're Kraving it?

Sugar breakfast cereals are a bad idea. Not for the general tasteless public; they can eat whatever shite they think their bodies deserve. But for the people who com up with these ideas; the young graduates who land jobs in Kellogg's and Nestlé and such companies. Krave clearly smacks of an idea born of people who are driven to increase profits by their lawful obligation to shareholders. Even the name shows absolutely no imagination. I'm waiting to see the episode of The Apprentice where this lame sugary queer idea was probably thought up.

Imagine handing in your resumé to a new prospective employer, on which it read that you had been the inventor of Kellogg's Fruit Loops. It's laughable isn't it.

Bacon Egg McMuffin, Hash Brown and a Cup of Coffee

Wait a minute, what's going on? Once when I had was in college I indulged in the famous six o'clock breakfast of shame. I had been awake in the laboratory performing some vivisection on some baby rabbits to see if I could use electricity or acid burns to make them cuter. When I got carried away and forgot what time it was. There's not many places that will feed you at six O'clock in he morning covered in blood and hair, but Micky Dee's will let anyone in.

People whinge about McDonalds an aweful lot. It's not my ideal breakfast, but you won't get any self righteous hand wringing here, I find it hard to take. I'm not exempt from the odd Mac Attack, particularly when it's the only place open. I'm not exempt from the side of guilt one is made to swallow by the hippie types either. In the end I just remember nobody forced me to go.

Bacon Butty and a Cup of Tea

Slurp - ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Yogurt, Müesli and Fresh Berries

The Swiss get away with a lot. Hidden in their mountain lair keeping time to the picosecond whilst the rest of the world goes about its business, unaware it's being observed and secretly judged for being late.

This mornings breakfast was made for me by my girlfriend (yes, thank you darling it was delicious).

Initially I found it dry and dusty with the berries being the only moistness. As the oats and other magic dust absorbed moisture from the yogurt the dish became more appetising. I think a few table spoons of honey might be a welcome addition to a meal a lot of people save for an occasion such as post-cardiac-surgery-convalescence. People see it as a chore rather like classical music or fine art, instead of a breakfast to be enjoyed.

One thing is for damn sure, it's not enough. You'll need a slice or two of toast to suppliment it. The disclaiming phrase part or a nutritious breakfast springs to mind. I'm not sure what brand of muesli I ate and I've found they differ wildly in their tastiness.