A ham and cheese toasty in brown sliced toast.

I missed the nosebag of oats, yogurt and fruit pieces this morning. All that was left in the canteen at work were the ready-made sandwiches. It's difficult to dress a goat's cheese, rocket and pesto panino as breakfast, plus it foreign, so I took the lonely ham and cheese toasty back to my table with a small cappuccino in a branded paper cup (Despite asking for it "for here" not "to go".) 

        

        This was a master stroke of comfort eating. A cheese and ham toasty is the Epicurean equivalent of a soft fleece baby blanket to an over tired toddler. I was late for breakfast and so ate alone in splendid isolation. 

Ein kleine kaffee und käsebrot mit schinken

A nice Germanic breakfast

Granola-gay should have stayed at home yesterday

Remain indoors. 

I guess since everyone's days since 2020 feels much the same as the last, please consider this a repost for the last 300 days. If you want to know what I had for breakfast a week ago - just re-read this post.

Remain indoors.

I've settled on Granola, with natural yogurt and berries as my no-think go to breakfast. Muesli is better for you as it has less sugar, but Dr James Caleb Jackson decided that muesli needed sugar. Dr J. C. Jackson ran a sanitarium, which sounds like sanatorium, but isn't. Don't confuse the two. Sanatoriums are where people who contracted TB¹ went to hide the shame of family illness form the world, sanatoriums are where people went to get granola.

Remain indoors.

I’ve also started adding milled flax seed to my Granola. It is tastless and imperceptible in the mealy toasted brown of the granola but my GP told me it would help my blood pressure and, you know, it’s his job to find out what helps and tell me to do it.

1.     Tuberculosis

Poached Egg on English Muffin with Asbestos

Let's talk about the asbestos. Nobody wants to read about English muffins. That's not entirely true, but the kind people who would rather be regaled with twee stories about a morning of muffins and perfect sunrises when asbestos is on the cards aren't holding a strong Darwinian suit.

It's the same reason the discovery channel runs a week of programs about sharks and not goldfish. Goldfish are nice but everyone has seen at least one and nobody has ever been eaten by a goldfish. Sharks, like asbestos, are dangerous. I suspect a shark is a more easily identified than asbestos.
Since Asbestos is banned in the EU, most people are happily ignorant of it. I can't blame them, it's not used in new houses and a lot of old houses have gotten rid of it at some stage.

I was surprised to learn that Asbestos, according to the World Health Organisation (WHO), is listed alongside cigarettes and tanning beds in terms of its cancer causing ability. I'm not sure whether that makes Asbestos less dangerous in my mind, or Tanning Beds more dangerous (or the WHO less credible), I stay away from all three.

I had a nice Frenchman remove all the Asbestos from my house. All that is, except a small six inch flu that runs hidden withing the core of the house. Don't worry, it's sealed in, and safe enough as long as I don't start breaking it apart.

English Muffins are known in England as crumpets they make a delicious alternative to toast in the morning but should be used sparingly as they are quite heavy.

Marmalade on Toast Versus Jam on a Croissant a Comparative Study

This time last year I read and article about people not eating as much marmalade as they used to. If people don't like marmalade, that's fine. But I think people do. I've tried to do my bit, my mother made me a nice pot of it and I went through it like a divil, but I couldn't tip the trend.

Marmalade, like butter, and other breakfast-y, things suffers from a bad reputation. A bit like that girl with the dyed-streak in her hair and the nose ring, that your mother told you wasn't to enter her house. As with that buxom lass, it's bitter and sweet at the same time, it livens up your stale bread like she livened up your adolescence. Pause before reading the next paragraph and think about how she might have grown into her looks.

Marmalade on toast was last week. Today, I had a croissant with blackcurrant jam and one of them fancy cappuchinos (La-de-fuckin-da). Neither breakfast contains eggs¹, and are all the poorer for it. (Although the pastry of the croissant may contain one egg, but it's just not the same.) Croissants aren't all that bad but they're certainly not healthy, they are France's answer to American fast food it turns out. It's a shame because what the french cook slowly they cook very well.

1. Yes, I know that a croissant contains egg but if you can't see the egg on the plate then it's not really breakfast.

Cuisine de France Croissant

Yuk, dry tastless fast food. Hates it we does. Plus a loud talker got on the train the other day.

What is it with these people? I don't even think the people he was talking to wanted to hear about his docu-drama for Canadian television. I'm certain I didn't. The rest of the train looked like they were ready to caste their ballots too.

Imagine a world where nobody has an indoor voice. Libraries would be as busy as shopping malls. The theatre would be a burly hum of vain comments¹. I wouldn't ever bother going to a hear any classical music whatsoever unless I was the entire audience.

1. The internet, perhaps?

The Full Anglo-Irish Breakfast

If you are looking for information on the Irish Bank Resolution Corporation look in the Irish Independent, this is about these great islands formidable breakfasts.

Much loved by truck drivers  the humble plate of egg'n'pig that makes up 98% of breakfast served in tawdry B&B's on these islands gets a bad reputation. Rightly so. Michael Bywater, in his book Lost Worlds laments, that while other nationalities lend their names to acts erotic adventure¹, (c.f. Greek) or a particular passionate kiss (c.f. French). The English have an associated 'pork orgy', and since the Irish insist of claiming this as their own also, then I say let them have it. I would have thought to 'Irish' would  mean to add alcohol. After all Irish Coffee enjoys a fairly decent reputation and it's not nearly as bad for your health².

What  a shame to single out the least delicious breakfast as the national dish. If this blog aims to provide anything it's the wealth of breakfast that are steadfast traditions of this proud Atlantic archipelago.

I've been told to watch my cholesterol so the full English is something of a hazardous material in my blood vessels. I've never been much of a fan however since like most popular foods it's been subject to a race to the bottom as competition has driven the costs down. The only thing worse than cheap bacon, after all, is a cheaper sausages. On a boozy lads night out in Donegal I was treated to a 'Full Ulster Breakfast'; how this local delicacy differs from every other fried or grilled swine-fest by the addition of some fried bread, leaves me mute. It's purpose is to act as a sponge, just in case you missed some of the rendered animal fats as they ran from the pan. But that entirely points to how lacking in imagination and versatility this dish really is. Ultimately it's not it's health issues that will kill it, (but probably will kill us) but how boring it is.

1. Greek sex is basically sex when your doing it wrong³

2. As everyone know caffeine and alcohol cancel each other out. Right?

3. Not wrong as in; mortal-sin⁴ wrong. More wrong as in; that's-not-what-the-Ikea-instructions-say-where-it-goes, wrong. If that sort of thing melts your butter and you can find a willing friend who has a single room apartment in Paris and a pack of Lurpak, you go like the clappers. Then blog about it and the Guardian will not doubt give you some sort of award.

4. All sex acts can be put into context. Weirdness becomes relative when one thinks about the fact that some people get their jollies from axillary (armpit) sex, so much so that it even has a slang term.